"Wedding Customs"
Written by, Cheryl Harwell Bailey

“Something Old,

Something New,

Something Borrowed,

Something Blue,

And a Sliver Sixpence in your Shoe.”



Something Old

   A cherished token from the past.
  


Something New

A new treasured token of the future.

Something Borrowed

 A sacred object from family or friend.

Something Blue

      

A sign of her vow of faithfulness to her "Groom."

Sixpence

And a Sliver Sixpence in your shoe.  

Edward VI introduced it in 1551. In the Victorian Era, brides carried the sixpence for good fortune. Their gowns had no pockets, so they slipped the sixpence in their shoe.

Wedding Showers

It is said that showers originated when a wealthy father,
 of a young bride- to- be withheld her dowry. 
He did not want her to be married. 
So of course her friends got together and had
 a party bearing gifts for the couple.

Throwing Rice

The custom of throwing rice 
on the newlyweds comes from the Orient. 
Rice symbolized fertility and a full pantry.

Tussie Mussies

Historically every Victorian belle, when going to a ball carried a Tussie Mussie filled with fresh flowers.
 Victorian brides’ carried large Tussie Mussie bouquets.

The Grooms Ring

It's very sad to say, but we women did not begin to offer our groom a wedding ring until the 20th century. 
I wonder how the other girls knew he was off limits?

Bridesmaids

“The bride gave her bridesmaids their gloves for the wedding, and a present with a little souvenir of the wedding. The bridegroom also gave each bridesmaid a piece of jewelry in which his and the bride’s initials are combined. 
He also gave the best man and ushers their gloves, ties and very often their scarf pins.”

          “Weddings and Wedding Anniversaries,” 1894

Wedding Rings

By the 19th century, Africa’s diamond mines insured enough stones to lavish on engagement and wedding rings; Sentiments, were engraved inside, with sayings such as “No gift can show, The love I owe!"

Engagement

“It was the custom for the bridegroom to send his bride a nosegay of the flowers in season, 
every morning until the wedding day. 
It appears to have been the custom for those who were betrothed to wear some flowers as an external and conspicuous mark of their mutual engagement.
 Rosemary, was an emblem of remembrance,
 worn at the wedding to signify the fidelity of the couple.”

          “Flowers and Flowers Lore,” 1889

Flowers

“In arranging the house for a spring wedding have one flower in mass, such as the apple-blossom, the lilac, the lily, the rose, the daffodil, the violet, and the daisy. 
So well has this been carried out that at a recent daisy wedding, the bride’s lace and diamond ornaments bore the daisy pattern, and each bridesmaid received a daisy pin. 

“Large bouquets of white flowers should ornament the ears of the horses and the coats of the coachmen and footmen.”

          “Manners and Social Usage’s,” 1887

“The ceremony is apt to be performed in the country at a pretty little church, which lends its altar-rails gracefully to wreaths and garlands, and whose Gothic windows open to green lawns and trimmed gardens. 
The bride and her maids can walk over the delicate swarth without soiling their slippers. 
The opportunity affords carrying parasols 
made entirely of flowers.”

          “Manners and Social Usage’s,” 1887

“When they are not included in the bridal party, children laden with flowers sometimes rise in a group from the pews near the front and scatter their fragrant offerings along the way from the altar to the carriage”

          “Weddings and Wedding Anniversaries,” 1894

“A lovely effect is produced  if the bride wears pure white, and the brides-maids wear dresses with flowers and trimmings of a different color. Green leaves, blue ribbons and forget-me-nots, or pink roses and ribbon are lovely!"

          “The Ladies Book of Etiquette and Manual of Politeness,” 1872

Royal Wedding Dress

It was Queen Victoria who began the fashion for all-white wedding clothes; before her 1840 nuptials, a bride chose a very nice dress that she would continue to wear on other fine occasions. Victoria married in rich white satin, her veil of Honiton lace caught by a wreath of orange blossoms.

In 1863 the bridesmaids, who attended her son’s bride, Princess Alexandra, gave the bride, a bracelet with their painted miniatures identified by initials in diamonds.

The Wedding Day

“The wedding day should stand out in the calendar with all the brightness of love and promise” 
Homemaking Magazine 1892.

Weddings

“House wedding are less fatiguing. Some brides prefer that their nuptials shall be celebrated at home,”
 advised in September 1894 edition of 
“Weddings and Wedding Anniversaries."

Veils

Brides in the 1920’s wore veils that were, a head to toe sweep of Chattily lace secured with a little lattice fronted cap.

Horseshoe

The “horseshoe” is secured with seven (7) nails to the horse, so the horseshoe is thought blessed, because the seven nails represent "God's" perfect number.

As her something blue, Diana the Princess of Wales tied a little silver “horseshoe” to a blue ribbon and sewed it in the waistband of her magnificent wedding gown.

Invitations

“In sending out the invitations, 
let the card of the bridegroom and that of the bride be tied together with a white ribbon, and folded.”

          “The Ladies Book of Etiquette"
 1872

Heirloom Handkerchief

Some brides carry a keepsake from a family member who has had a long and happy marriage. Some carry an “heirloom handkerchief” with the names and dates of other brides in their family embroidered on it. She embroidered her name on it, then passed it along.

“Marriage, Correct Forms for Wedding Invitations, Announcements, and Receptions.” 1901

Garters

Garters originated in the 17th century as silk sashes tied below the bride’s knee, which were removed by the groomsmen and worn in their hats. Garters might be fancifully decorated, with the blue ribbon symbolizing constancy. They would be part of a bride’s trousseau filled with a frothy assortment of lingerie and linens, perhaps embroidered and sewn by her hand, a family member, or friend.

Throwing the blue garter comes from the 14th century. Blue symbolizes purity, love, and faithfulness.

“The friend to whom a bride presents the garter she has worn, has a symbol against spinster- hood, and will be sure to be wedded soon.”

Royals:

“Was awoke by the sound of marriage bells. All hustle and excitement,” wrote Queen Victoria in her journal on July 5, 1866, the date of her daughter Helena’s wedding. As was her custom, Queen Victoria recorded every detail of her children’s nuptials. At Helena’s wedding the bridesmaids wore white dresses and veils trimmed with forget-me-nots and white heather.

When Victoria’s granddaughter Princess Maud married, even the littlest members of the wedding were crowned with wreaths of orange blossoms, and their dresses were trimmed with heavy lace.

Trousseau

Twelve of everything was the minimum for the wealthy.

A French "Miss" might display her trousseau at the wedding breakfast, but the shy English bride would show off a few dainty treasures only to her closest friends.

Pochette:

The “Pochette” or “the wedding kit” is a tiny purse or bag, for the brides essential toiletries. She carries this to the church and reception. It has only what she really needs. It must be unassuming, and should be made of silk or satin. Princess Diana carried one these. 

Wedding Cake:

In early Britain wedding guests' took baskets of baked goods to the weddings, to exchange with other guests'. These small baked goods and cakes eventually increased in number and size until, as the legend says, a French chef in London decided to ice all the cakes together which gave way to our modern cake.

A 1888 book tells how slices of cake were sometimes hid under pillows at night, so a young person would dream of their future spouses.

Another custom called for a ring to be baked in the cake, so “when it is cut, the person who secured the slice containing the ring will receive with it, unusually good fortune during the ensuing year, an Eligible suitor and a happy marriage.”

Wedding Favors

 “Wedding favors (rosettes with trailing ribbons) must be made of white ribbons and silver leaves. All the gentlemen will wear a wedding favor except the groom. He always wears  a flower.”

          “Manners and Social Usage’s,” 1889

Mazeltov:

In the traditional Jewish wedding, the bridegroom breaks a glass wrapped in napkin with the heel of his shoe. This custom symbolized the breaking of former ties of the couple,  marriage as a rite of passage, and the scattering of the Jewish  people. You can save the “broken glass” in a Mazeltov keepsake bag. They are made of silk, satin and lace.

Betrothal:

The Germans held a Betrothal ceremony known as “Wedlock." It comes from the Anglo Saxon word “wed” which signified the property a father received from the groom
 in exchange for his bride.
 “Lock” meant a pledge sealed with a ring.

Historically, the betrothal was a legal bargain concluded before witnesses and was just as binding
 as the wedding ceremony.

Hand Fasting

One type of betrothal among the common folk was called “Hand Fasting” where the couple joined hands and pledged to marry one another. This joining of hands is still practiced in many cultures, including America. Couples hold hands while reciting their vows.

Joined

In some cultures' newlyweds are symbolically “Joined” with ribbon,  shoe strings, leather strips or ropes and are expected to stay bound together for a time that may last from a few minutes to a couple of days. Many "Latino" weddings have a "Lasso" ceremony.

Gimmal Ring

One “Engagement Ring” was very unusual. It was called a “Gimmal Ring”. It was a set of 3 interlocking rings, for the bride, the groom and a family member, friend or witness. Each wore a ring from the set until the wedding ceremony, then all 3 rings were united as a single ring for the bride to wear as her wedding rings for the rest of her life.

During the Renaissance the “Gimmal” or “Gemmal” ring, was a single thick band, that was literally cut in half to make two rings. If you hold the two together it looks like a single ring.

Courtship

Courtship comes from the medieval word “Courtier." A “Courtier” was a single chivalrous gentleman in pursuit of a fair young maiden, thus in the middle ages the word “courtship” was invented. Court is short for Courtier. In the middle ages the young man would try to win her heart with love poems, songs, flowers, and good deeds.

Spooning

Spooning, comes from a Welsh courtier who gave his lady love a wooden spoon he carved for her. He knew his proposal of marriage was a “yes” if she wore the spoon as a necklace, hung by a ribbon around her neck. Thus the term “spooning."

Sparking

From the 19th century, American term for "falling in love."

Honeymoon

It got its name from the ancient Anglo Saxons who drank a honeyed-wine for the first 30 days after their marriage. While the moon went through its 30 day cycle. It also comes from  Germany. The Germans drank a beverage for 30 days after the couple's wedding day. It was made from "honey." It was called "mead" or "metheglin."

Some encyclopedias suggest that the honeymoon is an ancient custom practiced even during the time of Christ and before. In Biblical times, going back 5 to 6 thousand years, we have the most concise and indeed the only ancient documentation of courtship and marriage. In the book of Genesis, the first book of the Bible, we have an account of the first marriage. God himself officiated at the first wedding. The bride was Eve, the groom was Adam. Can anything be more beautiful than the "first time"? God was the author, inventor and creator of marriage.

Proposal
Proposals, did not begin for the most part until the Middle ages. Marriages were arranged by the clan patriarch or chief prior to the middle ages. Example, the grandfather of the groom signed a contract with the grandfather of the bride and organized the betrothal and wedding. Sometimes the bride and groom did not meet until the wedding ceremony. As little as 150 years ago in North America the great native American Indian tribes practiced this custom. Today in some remote corners of the globe this custom is still practiced in our modern world.

By the middle ages, Christianized countries began to allow the joy of courtship, and “falling in love," began to be the rule rather the exception.

Gloves

Another sweet custom was when a suitor would send a pair of gloves to his Lady-Love. If she wore these gloves to Church on Sunday it meant that she had accepted his "Proposal." If she did not wear them to Church, the answer was “NO." If she accepted his proposal she would wear these gloves in her wedding.

Engagement Rings

The Hebrews are credited in history to have invented the concept of “Engagement," and Engagement Rings.

Originally coins were used. They placed the coins on a small crown, and wore the crown over their vail.

Wedding Presents

 The Dutch invented this custom out of Love and Christian charity. They were "frugal" or good stewards. They would give money and household supplies to help the young couple set up housekeeping.

Gifts such as blenders, toasters, microwave ovens are appropriate for the house hold showers. Wedding gifts are items such as crystal, china, silver.

Trousseau Tea

The “mother of the bride” can have a tea for close fiends and family to see the wedding gifts, and household shower gifts. She could have a trousseau tea. Everything is displayed from the lingerie shower, and the brides honeymoon cloths.

Bridal Gift Registry

The bridal gift registry is as important as any other part of your wedding plans. Go to your favorite department, hardware and specialty stores to register. This will help your friends and family to know your preferences and you will not have to exchange duplicate gifts.

Make sure to register soon after your engagement is announced. The store will have a person to assist you in making the right choices. Take your mother, sister, or friend and of course your fiancee'. Everything you select is a reflection of your good taste and style. Some of your selected items will no doubt become cherished pieces as the years go by. You will pass them on to your children to be treasured heirlooms for generations to come. Your wedding gifts, are the heritage you selected together with your own hands, as a couple in love.

I have cherished pieces handed down to me from my mother, grandmothers, great grandmother, indeed back  7 generations.  They mean more to my heart than all the gold in Fort Knox.

So remember to register, and choose carefully.